By adjusting our mindset and attitudes, we could make it a Christmas like no other
It's undeniably been a tough year and one many will be happy to move on from. But as we approach Christmas, however different it might be this year, it's important we take stock of the positives where we can.
"I’m certain it doesn’t have to be a miserable Christmas. It can be a time for reflection, rest, connection and creating new memories that could make it a Christmas like no other. Christmas 2020 isn’t cancelled," says psychotherapist and author of Ten Times Happier, Owen O’Kane.
By adjusting our mindset and attitude towards doing Christmas differently this year, we can turn it into a positive experience and, when we feel happy and content, it's easy for that festive cheer to become contagious.
Here's Owen's tips to help us spread Christmas joy this year, even in the midst of a global pandemic.
ACCEPTANCE. IT IS WHAT IT IS.
"It’s understandable that there will be a degree of disappointment with the situation we find ourselves in this Christmas but we must accept it. If we fixate on how it should be, how you want it to be or what will happen next, it leads to increased levels of distress. Living in the present moment, accepting things as they are and taking everything one step at a time makes it easier to feel hopeful. It will also help you enter the spirit of joy and goodwill during the festive period," says Owen.
Action: Be grateful and mindful of what you do have this Christmas. That might be something fundamental like a roof over your head, good health or food on the dinner table. It might be a smaller detail like the fact that having less people in the house might lead to deeper conversation, or how not having to travel on Christmas Day means you have time for a local walk. Over the Christmas period, make a daily list of what you do have as opposed to focusing on what you don't have this year.
CONNECT WITH PEOPLE WHO BRING YOU JOY, ANY WAY YOU CAN
This year, we may be spending more time at home with certain people than we are used to – and this can be hard on relationships. It's not a fault, it's just a different way of spending time together that needs some adapting to. Owen calls this, making "healthy boundaries".
"Have a strategy of who you will connect with, even if it is a phone call or Zoom. Connect with the voices that lift your spirits. Take breaks or find a distraction when you are with people who overwhelm you. Likewise, spend more time with the people at home who cheer you up."
Action: When taking a break, read a good book that you know will lift your mood – one you've read before or a recommendation from a trusted friend.
BREAK FREE FROM TRADITION
"Traditions and Christmas go hand-in-hand which, unquestionably, will create challenges this year. The reality is that some of the normal traditions like family visits, shopping, meals, church services and even Father Christmas might need a review of sorts. Rather than focus on the loss of some of the usual traditions, try to create new ones that bring a sense of happiness, connection, hope and fresh beginnings. In essence, try to live the meaning behind the season, whatever your religious or spiritual beliefs," says Owen.
Action: Could you try a new meat or side as part of your Christmas dinner? Or perhaps you could decide to go meat-free this year! Is there a new game you could play, a walk you could squeeze in or film you could watch?
DECK THE HALLS
"Every piece of research on low mood tells us that light, colour and sparkle help improve mood. In some Nordic traditions, Christmas lights stay in place until the end of January to create a sense of optimism and hope in the midst of winter. Perhaps this Christmas is the year to bring some extra light and colour into your home. It will serve as a reminder that you can create light in life’s darker moments. It will also cheer up your neighbours, and hopefully create a domino effect of positive energy," says Owen.
Action: Get crafty and make your own Christmas decorations you can adorn with lights (LED ones, if possible – they are better the the planet). Try making your own fresh foliage wreath – here's our how-to guide.
EVERYTHING COMES AND GOES – AND THERE ARE LESSONS TO BE LEARNT
"During a crisis period it can feel like the situation will never end. Although this Christmas will be different, it will come and go. Likewise, the COVID-19 pandemic will eventually pass. We know that the development of vaccines, treatments and rapid testing is improving daily and that better days will come. This Christmas, try to focus on this time as a temporary period in our history which will provide many life lessons."
Action: Make a list of all the positive personal realisations or lessons you have learnt during this difficult year. Maybe you have rekindled your love for a hobby or sport? Maybe you have realised that having a few weekends free from socialising is better for your mental health? Or maybe you have been able to spend more quality time with those you live with or save a bit of money by not commuting?
ALLOW HOPE TO RELEASE POSITIVE CHEMICALS
"Christmas is a Christian tradition but of course synonymous with hope. Whatever your culture, belief or tradition, I encourage you to embrace hope this Christmas. Hope changes the chemistry of our brains; it will enable you to cope better and it’s contagious. If you can look for hope, you will find it. It is allowing yourself to stay open to the possibility that tough periods end; they always do."
Action: Make a personal mantra you can repeat in your head every time you start to feel a bit low or hopeless. Something like: 'When this is all over, I'll hug my family, go on holiday and be more grateful for the small things' or 'Difficult years serve the purpose of making the good years even better.'
IT'S ALL UP TO YOU...
"Christmas 2020 will be etched in your memory for a long time, that’s for sure. Remember you have a choice what memories you create," concludes Owen.
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