New legal reasoning: The duality of it -- guns are safety devices too

Federal Trump trial court judge Stephen McGlynn (SD Illinois) offers a new and improved rationale for getting rid of an Illinois gun safety law regarding the semi-automatic AR-15 assault rifle, the weapon of choice for mass murderers at schools, public gatherings and whatnot. Judge McGlynn writes in his superbly-reasoned 168 page cannon blast:

Why are there small lifeboats on gigantic steel ocean liners? Why do we spend thousands equipping our vehicles with airbags? Why do we wear seatbelts and place our infants in safety seats? Why do we build storm shelters under our homes? Why do we install ground-fault interrupter outlets by sinks and bathtubs? Why do we get painful inoculations? Why do we voluntarily undergo sickening chemotherapy?

And why do we protect ourselves with firearms?

Too often, the perils we face are forced upon us by other people. By people who are negligent, reckless, insane, impaired, or evil. Sometimes it is the proverbial lone wolf; sometimes, it is the whole wolf pack. Truly, life comes at you quickly.

And who comes to our aid in times of peril? Sometimes, it is the police or first responders; other times it is healthcare professionals; and sometimes it is family, friends, or neighbors. Sometimes, it is no one.

Above The Law comments on this splotch of brilliant, tour de force legal gobbledygook:

This is how he began a 168-page opinion. He sat down and thought, “I’m going to come up with some brilliant analogies!” and then decided to OPEN the opinion with this. Which, in some ways, you’ve got to appreciate because 168 pages is a lot and it’s nice that he broadcast that this wouldn’t amount to a work of serious legal thought right off the top.

Why are there small lifeboats in gigantic steel ocean liners? Because sometimes they sink. But — and I can’t stress this part enough — when the cruise ship isn’t sinking, no one uses lifeboats to assassinate kindergartners.

Hm, it is true that no one uses lifeboats to assassinate kindergartners. They have a point there. But the judge is also right, the AR-15 is a fine safety device for use in imminent lethal threat emergencies when there is no help around, as we have all personally experienced many times. He sees the duality here, guns can be used as safety devices as well as mass murder devices.

That is blistering, over-the-horizon vision!

Hm, I must live a sheltered life. I've never been seriously threatened with a lethal weapon. Just what does being in an imminent lethal threat emergency feel like? Probably very scary.

You know what else is very scary? Judge McGlynn being nominated to the USSC after Sonia Sotomayor has to be replaced because her frail health conks out, just like Ruth Bader Ginsberg did.