Branson then whipped his out and announced that he was going into space on his first commercial space flight on his rocket, which I affectionately call "The Turd." Branson is scheduled to beat Bezos into space. Branson's announcement sent shares of Virgin Galactic soaring beyond low Earth orbit and in into deep space.
Today, various sources are reporting that in pissing retaliation, Bezos announced that he is going to take a Wally Funk with him on his first Big Weiner. Bezos had planned to auction the last seat of his first space flight to the highest bidder. But after Branson's uppity move, Bezos had to do something.
Who or what is Wally Funk?
Good question. Wally Funk is an American woman, 82 years old. She is an aviator.
Mary Wallace "Wally" Funk in 1995
Short detour: Ms. Funk came to my attention some years ago, when she was admirably memorialized on a world smash hit CD, The Flight of Wally Funk, by the famous Australian rock band Spiderbait. The CD contains record shattering Spiderbait tunes such as Most Boys Suck, which is a gentle and touching commentary on the . . . . things in the typical early adult human male mind. This is heavy evolutionary biology stuff.
Most Boys Suck - lyrics
Love that patronizing air
Telling you what it thinks fair
It's as if we really care
We know that most boys suck
We're supposed to underplay
Worship everything you say
Doesn't seem to work that way
We know that most boys suck
You would like us all to know
Your dick fascinates you so
Ugly little sucker though
We know that most boys suck
Spiderbait is an outstanding Australian rock band. My fave Spiderbait Nobel Prize winning masterpiece is Parking Lot, which is the sad story of a woman who laments hard times about getting her tight pants on and waiting for her boyfriend to get out of custody for stealing groceries. It's really heavy social commentary stuff. There are echoes of another Spiderbait Nobel Prize winning masterpiece, Arse Higgin' Pants, in Parking lot. Tight pants seem to be a thing with the Spiderbait crowd.
Parking Lot - lyrics
All day all I think about is you
Can't wait to do all the things we do
Slip in to my jeans and Ill be gone
Takes me half a day to get them on
Chrous
Here's where i'd wanna be
Hanging out in the parking Lot
Don't you know I was born to rock
Heavy metal boys make me hot
Nah-nah-na-na-nah
Hanging out in the parking lot
See the charger go round the block
Wish the seventies never stopped
Nah-nah-na-na-nah
Nah-nah-na-na-nah
All week all i think about is you
One day my name there on your tattoo
Ripping stuff off from the grocery
Getting chased by the security
[chorus]
Uh-huh
Today all i think about is you
Wonder what it is all day you do
Waiting till the day when you'll be free
So sad now that you're in custody
[chorus]
Back to Ms. Funk: According to Wikipedia, she was born February 1, 1939. She is an American aviator and Goodwill Ambassador. She was the first female air safety investigator for the National Transportation Safety Board, the first female civilian flight instructor at Fort Sill, Oklahoma, and the first female Federal Aviation Agency inspector, as well as one of the Mercury 13. NASA never picked Wally to go into space because she was a woman. So, she got credit for her work from Spiderbait in Australia and now she gets some more credit from Bezos in America due to his pissing match with Sir Richard.
One can only wonder how this would have played out if Branson hadn't whipped his fantasy out and locked horns with Bezos. Wally would most likely had her seat into space and her place in history diminished by the highest bidder that Bezos decided to forego. It was only in view of Branson's ego with its stream of urine thought that pushed the thought of Wally into Bezo's fevered mind.
See, sometimes something good can come from billionaires in pissing matches.
Go Wally! Good for you girl!
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